thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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