we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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