Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
