Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
