the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
