Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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