mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
