Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
