Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
