put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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