I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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