She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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