a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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