I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
