it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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