booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
