it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
