ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
