Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
