Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
