im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
