I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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