oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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