Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
