Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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