Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
