Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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