just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
