I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Randomize
