I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
