i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize