just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
