Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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