But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
