Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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