just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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