i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
