thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize