ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
