he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
