Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize