halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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