I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize