i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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