My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
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