My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
