If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
