She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize