just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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