Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize