A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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