Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
