the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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