singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize