I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
