those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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