Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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