I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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