I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
