i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize