i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
