You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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