Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
