please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
