i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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