in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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