"it" just moved
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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