Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
