my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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