New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
