i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
