i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
