I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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